poetry @ www.talios.com

Who is he?

Mark Derricutt — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 00:33:00 GMT

Whilst tidying up the other day I found an old draft of a small skit about Jesus Christ and the psyche ward - this was written sometime around '95 during a day's road trip from Napier to Taupo and back..

Person	Who is he?
Orderly	Don't know, never met him really but he thought was God.
Person	God? You mean the God?
Orderly	Yea, well - the son of God maybe...
Person	Where did you meet him?
Orderly	In the psych ward
Person	What? You mean the mental hospital?
Orderly	Yea, I didn't speak to him much because he got killed
Person	You mean dead? Murdered? Gone forever?
Orderly	Nothing was proven but there were plenty of witnesses. About 12 or so. It's your choice whether you believe or not.
Person	What happened after that? Did they bury him or what? Catch the killer?
Orderly	This is where it gets interesting... He was in the morge for 3 days until all the formalities were finalized. pause
Person	Then what?
Orderly	Well I'm not so sure about the details but when they went to get him - he wasn't there.
Person	Wasn't there? What do you mean he wasn't there?
Orderly	Apparently he had discharged himself that morning.
Person	You mean he's alive? You said he was killed?
Orderly	Like I said - I don't know the details but that's what's going around. Well - I've got to go, but tell you what - there's going to be a big meet up tonight before the Father comes for him, do you want to come?
Person	Sure do - do you think he'd talk to me?
Orderly	Yeah.... I'm sure I would.

The skit was left in a rough initial draft of thoughts and ideas and never really got rewritten or taken beyond the first draft, and was never presented to any drama people at church for feedback or actual delivery, maybe I should reconsider it after 10 years...

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In death we join you

Mark Derricutt — Wed, 14 Dec 2005 11:27:00 GMT

In death we join you
As blood flows from our freshly cut wounds
This release
This freedom from thought
Brings peace.

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What is it with love?

Mark Derricutt — Wed, 14 Dec 2005 11:00:00 GMT

What is it with love
That drives the heart to pain
When confusion quells our sense of truth
Leaving only madness and insanity with free reign

Ours is not to question why, just dry our teasr and hope we die
What is it with love
That hurts?

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Notebook Memories

Mark Derricutt — Sun, 30 Oct 2005 10:59:00 GMT

I spent most of the afternoon tidying up the flat, vacuuming, cleaning, and going through old boxes and junk throwing crap out - amongst the crap I found 4 telephones dated 1990, 1992, 1994, and 1996 - I've not had a telecom line for over a year and doubt I ever will again so I don't think I need them, nor do I need to 4.3gb HDD I found. I did find an IBM ThinkPad that seems to work (albeit a HDD that goes clunk clunk clunk).

One item that did amuse was a tatty notebook with a massive TWO pages of content - a number of doodles, an upside down cross in a ghost busters style ban symbol, a reference to Opeth's "My Arms, Your Hearse" album, and the following unnamed poem/lyric:

I am a reflection of thoughts and lies and suffering abundundances
Hope and fraility follow me through the maddening gaze of life
You pierce my mind with a thought of hope

But still I fail,
I am frail,
I hurt and bleed

I am nothing more, and you are nothing less, you bring peace, the price to be paid
With anguish, forlorn I look to the sky with hope in my eyes and cry
Release me from the stench of desire

I am nothing - nothing that grows
I am something - something that dies
The cycle ends but starts anew

In the end we are nothing
We are frail
And we will fail

We are man made
We have holes

and she will open them

I remember writing this, but I can't for the life of me remember WHO I was writing about - I'm thinking that's probably a good thing.

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The Damage...

Mark Derricutt — Wed, 18 May 2005 09:06:00 GMT

Thou damaged, we are beaten and sore; but bruises heal with time,
Thou pained, we're not broken or dead; and with love, we can live again...

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Whispers...

Mark Derricutt — Fri, 21 Jan 2005 09:48:00 GMT

I once heard there was a feeling, an emotion that two people share, a thought that starts with "hi" and ends with "don't go", a hope that things never end, and a will to endure all costs.

I once heard there was a love, one that couldn't be denied, one that involved coffee, and movies, and 3am hushed whispers.

I once heard there was pain, and someone to help it heal.

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Field of the Fallen

Mark Derricutt — Sat, 11 Sep 2004 21:15:00 GMT

Earlier I was out driving after looking at some flats and made a wrong turn, and ended up discovering the cemetary behing the speedway - I've always had a thing for cemetaries; especially the older gothic looking ones. Theres something about the intricate stone work people used to head up their graves that just make me star in awe.

Overlooking the sea of tombs was somewhat sureal, so much death, so much loss, and yet - so much love.

At the bottom theres a grace freshly wrapped up in a plastic enclosure decorated with "Happy Birthday" signs I found toys, teddy bears, bags of lollies, and photos. The grave appeared to be for a 5 year old boy who died last year. :( I've also uploaded a photo-manipulated version of one of the Angels to deviantart.com.

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Redemption: This act alone

Mark Derricutt — Sun, 23 Nov 2003 10:14:00 GMT

I wrote this piece 8 years ago on the day of my 21st, and gave it to mum with a big bouquet of flowers, the idea behind it was that the day wasn't to celebrate the day of my birth, but the day in which mum gave birth to me. One of those small "mindset shifts" I like, looking at things differently to the norm.

With love - this offering of mine
We remember - not me, but your nine

In ages past - you gave me life
Showed me the way to live
And made me who I am

You offered no restriction
And took no personal gain

For this alone
I cannot repay
Except with thanks
And hope for better days

Love ya heaps mum ;-)

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Redemption: Just Time

Mark Derricutt — Sun, 23 Nov 2003 08:58:00 GMT

I've been re-reading a heap of my old poems and have been thinking of getting more of them out here in the blogosphere for others to read ( if they so desire ), so heres of the many...

Within the silence, my mind watches battles of thought run wild
The memory of pain fights endlessly with desire for hope and life
The reason for war begins with the passion of anothers flesh
I want, yet do not want, and confusion waves her flag

One day the truce will dawn
There will be no winner, no looser, no crime
One day this search for love divine
There will be no anger, no hurt, just time
I survey the field around me, without a plan of attack
This war I don't expect to win, instead, I fear I'll loose
Where is the point in putting love on the line, if no-one knows I'm fighting
I want, yet do not want, still I wonder, if you'll ever be mine
One day the truce will dawn
There will be no winner, no looser, no crime
One day this search for love divine
There will be no anger, no hurt, just time

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Poetry...

Mark Derricutt — Sun, 23 Nov 2003 04:31:00 GMT

I was talking to a friend earlier about my poetry and told him to check this site for it, then later realised it was no longer on here due to moving the blog to the main site, for anyone looking for my poetry - find it here - http://data.talios.com/?section=3. I need to rework the content of those pages to make it alot easier to follow, so bare with me :)

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Broken, Fragile, Familes

Mark Derricutt — Fri, 21 Nov 2003 11:59:00 GMT

Ever since I started thinking about getting a synth again my heads been full of disturbing melodies and disjointed lyrics, its kinda strange, and I'm thinking of getting a voice recorder again as well just to keep track of random thoughts and lyrics before they escape, but here's one that crept in and didn't escape, it's been growing for the past few days. I've never really been one for swearing in lyrics for swearing sake, but sometimes it's perfect for the emotion being expressed and I can't help but feel the sentiment is appropriate for this. My apologies to anyone who may be offended by its use.

I am the damage, of excuses you have made
I am a crack, in walls with secrets never told
I am the lost, abused and unappreciated
I am the curse, that threatens your way of life

In this broken family
We're the pieces never seen
It's a fragile fantasy
Societies falling apart...

I am the fear, that hides behind misguided hope
I am the reasoning, that fails to comprehend
I am resentment, from being treated like a whore
I am the damage, I am a bleeding open sore

This is a broken family
I'm a piece that was never seen
In this f*cked up reality
Societies fallen apart.

The opening/closing lines come from a lingering tribute to Argyle Park, whose music got stuck in my head way back when...

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Drowing in the Flood of Emotional Sewerage

Mark Derricutt — Fri, 10 Oct 2003 11:59:00 GMT

Just tidying up the flat for moving and came accross the following scribbed down on a piece of paper, not sure how old it is, but here it is...

Screaming mercy on the wind
I shout obscenities to the sky
Why have I come to such a place
I trusted you, and so now I cry...

Belief that was destined to cause failure
I thought myself wiser than you
Taking for granted the plan laid before me
I turned my back on you
I followed my heart and my desire
I fell deep in the trap that would ensnare me
The device that would create in me a slave

Emotion has become a burden
Should I dare to love again?
And if I do - should I care as much as I do (for you) right now?

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Are you listening?

Mark Derricutt — Sat, 26 Jul 2003 11:59:00 GMT

Mmmm, just got a short riff and vocal line suck in my head which turned itself into the starting of a song/tune, man, I really need to get myself a keyboard or something to start getting musicially creative...

Are you listening?
why are you not listening to me?
why are you not in my life more?
why are you not here beside me?
where are you when I need someone...

why are you not listening to me?
why are you not in my life more?
why are you not here beside me?
where are you when I need someone to....

believe in me
to help me thru the pain
that is my life?

why are you not calling?
why you dont respond?
why you never noticed the change?
where can I see myself in you...

you're not like me
you don't have this pain
that's in my life

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